Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Countering your Zen

Several weeks ago I made a trip to World Gym, the only gym worth going to (in my area) if you are a mom, and signed myself right up! Several locations! Tanning! Classes! Pool! Kid's program! FREE CHILDCARE. And that is the best, right there. Seriously, I can make my way to the gym as many times a week as I like, leave the kids in good hands and exercise with other adults, tan and take a shower all without yelling, 'WHO IS BANGING??" It is possibly one of the best investments I have ever made in my life.

Tuesday and Thursday I go to yoga (assuming the kids are healthy and have clean clothes to wear) and contort myself into the most delicious poses. I am rediscovering my flexibility and strength and I feel so alive! But I am, in fact, a yoga n00b and feel a little self conscious about unwritten yoga etiquette. Everyone is so focused and limber. And I just don't want to screw it up!

Something my husband and I have talked about it the fear in the unknown. How when you talk about those fears, you take away their powers. Today, I took away the powers of one fear and possibly created another. There is a pose that involves getting into a squatting position, placing your hands on the floor in front of you and resting your knees on your elbows. Then, then, you lift your feet off the ground and balance on your arms. Of course I could do this when I was six. Very simple. But sometime between six and the age I am now (oh-ho! you thought I would let that little secret?) I have grown a couple of feet worth of legs. Lots and lots of leg. So this is not so easy anymore.

Today I was pushing myself a little more to try the poses I have, in the past, shied away from due to the extreme chance that I would fall on my head. Today I felt so alive and so strong! I balanced! And I pulled my feet off the ground! And it was exhilarating! But mostly because I fell on my head. Loudly. Very thumpy falling. And then I laughed. Everyone was still, focused on this position, breathing, gaze to someplace tranquil and then an elephant hurtled to the floor and lol'd.

I am simply grateful they didn't kick me out or worse, talk to me after and tell me it was okay. Everyone pretty much pretended it didn't happen. Much like farting in polite company.

Not that I have ever done that.


  1. Ya know, I used to do a lot of yoga with Kassy Bohlender (now Bentley) at JBU. I fell almost every single time we did it. Unless, of course, we were doing floor exercises. It's hard to fall when you're laying all contorted on the floor. And I often ended up farting in a yoga position, but the ones that made me the most farty also produced the most silent farts, usually because I was in some weird position where my butt cheeks were far apart and... well, you get the picture.

    And for the record, you are not an elephant. Maybe a very large mallard or perhaps a stout hedgehog. Or a llama.

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. Lol - this comment had me lol-ing. I miss yoga. I miss the gym. Why oh why don't I make the pilgrimage . . ? Who knows. I'll be there with ya soon. And for the record, when I fall (not if), I will actually sound like an elephant hitting the floor - my oh-so-small friend. Love ya!

  4. Oh, I'm trying the yoga thing on wii fit... turns out I have good reason for tripping over my feet all these years. I'm not a 'balanced' person. Hrm. That's a loaded statement. Good for you though, falling over and laughing it off :) And yeah for sneaking out a fart in a crowded room, that takes talent. Props to you AND Megan. :D

  5. Props for challenging yourself and going for the invert, and also for laughing it off when you fell. I went once with the wife to a real yoga class and nothing happened on that level of excitement. Granted, it was a beginner-level class (which still ripped me apart since I am the World's Least Flexible Man) but all we got in the way of entertainment was a couple farts from someone across the room.


You have my undivided attention.